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Thursday, August 26, 2010

On Infidelity

DH and I been there and both of our partners in our early years were unfaithful to us. When we got together/started dating, we both agree that never to cheat on each other, and if cheating happens never look back, but acknowledge that we have children to take care.

DH case is not as bad as mine because I was married and had a son. Him in the other hand was only gf and bf, but he mentioned that he wanted to marry her. She has never known it but that was his intention. We both known something was going on with our partners but did not act on it until we realize that we are both much better without them.

It took him a lot of years to get into the dating scene again, and it took me four years. I say four years because it was four years after getting a divorce when found him. He was single longer than I was, and we did not meet until we were both turning 28.

We are not good at dealing with bad relationship. We hide and not pay attention to the opposite sex for a long time. As for my part, I hated anyone who (male) will hint that they like me. I was like a lion, which was depending upon her territory and never let anyone in.

I think it's easy to get over someone when both parties decide that they are not for each other. Once, you find out that one partner is cheating...even patching it up did not work for me. I wanted to get even, I wanted to hurt him more...however, all are not right. I should have let it go easy, and never look back. I say it now, but I can never do it before. I was heart broken and the worst part was "he cheated on me". I have not done anything but to be faithful, and I got cheated on.

Like others, I tried very hard to forget about it, but it wasn't the same. I even wanted to change the way he wanted, but that is not me. I got angry, no I was furious, and ended everything. It was sad for my son (who is now 19), but I am only human. Our love for each other is not enough to keep us together and be faithful. I swore him, he will not have any kids with the other woman, and guess what...she has never gotten pregnant. I know, we say bad things when we are mad.

It hurt to realize that everything will never go back to the way things are. Other people can do it, but not DH and I. Leaving and letting go was the only option for us. I got into two car accidents trying to pretend everything was fine.

I am glad that I did let go. If I didn't, I will never find out that there are better (DH) people out there just waiting for someone willing to accept the way we are. To love you unconditionally, and not to ask of what you can't give. Be happy on what you can offer heartedly.

Furthermore, don't be in a relationship if you don't mean it. If you are waiting for someone better than the one you have now, you are just asking for it. It isn't fair to the other person. You are selfish and needed a lot of growing up to do. Think of the GOLDEN RULE.

DH and I can never be friends with our past relationships. I am glad that my son is out to college. I don't have to deal with his father anymore. After 19 years, I can say that I am in peace and not to worry about the past anymore. Being strong helped.

2 comments:

jellybelly August 27, 2010 at 6:05 AM  

Sometimes we have to learn to let go sooner and accept what cannot be changed. If I had, it would've save me a lot of trouble and pain.

Nedekcir August 27, 2010 at 8:00 AM  

yes, tama ka jan...pero kapag galit ang isang tao...letting go is very hard to do...revenge is always in ones mind...but we learned from it and to be careful the next time around...

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Mrs. Cheers, Keystone USA

"I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations. I have a continuing program of research (What mother doesn't?) in the laboratory and in the field (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (the whole darned family) and already have five credits (four sons & one daughter, 1 joined the working community, 4 are being educated @ home ). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities (any mother care to disagree?), and I often work 14 hours a day (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers, and the rewards are more of a satisfaction than just money."


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