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Monday, November 2, 2015

Perfect Wife For You (part 1)

"You attract people by the qualities you display, you keep them by the qualities you posses."
"You don't attract what you want, you attract what YOU ARE."
-Dr. Wayne Dyer-

A friend of my husband that he knew for a long time have no problem finding someone. However, finding someone to be with him for the rest of his life is another story. I have said the same thing when my ex-grandmother in law asked me if I found someone yet to replace her grandson. I told her, "I found many, but I am waiting for the one who wants to stay and commit,"

I waited for the one I "wanted" (maybe I showed what I really am) and yes, he came along. I have to change a lot to keep the one I wanted. He does follow the "golden rule" and change myself for him. After fifteen years I can say that we grew closer in our ways and almost always knew each other thoughts about certain things.

He does brag about me to everyone he knew and they are jealous saying how lucky he is, and they wished they found someone like me. NO, it doesn't work that way. If one of them found me first, I don't think I will like any of them. However, most of the time I think I'm still lacking many qualities of what he brags about. I am not perfect and I am not trying to be one. If I don't feel good I don't do anything productive but still taking care of our children and MIL. I don't clean the house everyday, and I don't always cook lunch or dinner. And he's fine with it, I do not hear any complaint from him.

I can wear what I want, I did not grow up wearing anything provocative, he doesn't have to worry about it. I can spend money whenever I want. No, I don't spend it buying make-up, jewelry, perfumes, and name brand items. And I never spend carelessly. I have to make sure we have money for food and bills first. He always say, if he married someone like him, they will never have any money left in their bank account. So, I'm glad for that.

He tells me if he doesn't like what I did. He "nip it in the bud" right away. That's fine with me. This by the way has nothing to do with shopping, spending money or doing my sahm duty. This have something to do on how I deal with other people.

So, let's get back to my topic.

You don't look for a perfect wife qualities, you have to mold her just the way you like your wife to be. Make sure they like to be mold. Of course if she can't, time to let her go and find someone else. In my opinion your relationship will never get better. If you notice something she does that you don't like, tell her right away. If she didn't like what you said and she don't want to correct it, it's a problem. This works both ways.

DH friend wants the all American sexy, blonde, beautiful, and big breast type. She is a perfect ten outside, how about inside? Also, don't settle for what is around you. Expand your search, the one you are looking for might be somewhere else and just waiting for what you can offer. Get to know her better, not just what they are showing you, try deeper. But then again everyone is different. I can't tell you what sign to look for. There are many things that bothers DH and I in this world. Others might not even care about them.

I told him about one of my friend at a social network, but he never bother knowing her better. So, she is not his type but she is a wife material. Love might not be at first sight but love can grow between two people if they talk enough and knowing what each other liked.

Part 2, I will talk about having strong and solid opinion to right and wrong.


Friday, October 16, 2015

Sky Watch Friday/LATSOF in Malta

A much credit to my dear friend Izzy for the pictures. Thank you so much. This is the cheapest way for me to travel places. With a friend like you. Muito obrigada.


Thursday, October 15, 2015

Much Worst

This is my MIL who has dementia since 2012 from what my late PIL told us. I bet she had it longer than that. Our house now is big and like I mention before they live or using 1/6 of the house. That is our in law apartment.

Most of the decoration my PIL left are gone. Broken or she packed it and hidden somewhere. The cushions of the couch smells because she doesn't use her bedroom anymore. Since around the end of February, I think.

I put pull-ups on her now because most of the time she can't remember where the bathroom is. Or if she remembers she doesn't sit correctly and her pee runs downs on her pant legs. Sometimes she sits on one of the plastic chairs around her dining table, pull her pants and pee sitting on the chair while her socks get wet.

Most of the time she wears her pee soak pants and refuses to change them, saying "I like them wet." Then when she finally decide to change she will complain that her bottom hurts. Number is a problem now too. When she can't find the bathroom or cant remember, she just pull her pants down anywhere and do her business. Yuck! so disgusting and the smell. However, I am thankful that her bowel is hard. It's much worst when it's soft, I think. I change her clothes once a day now.

I never let her in my side of the house anymore. It's less stress for me to keep telling her that my side is my side. It doesn't get recorded in her brain anymore. I bring her food in her side. That is another problem with the dishes. When I forget to take the dishes she used, I will be looking everywhere for them.

Sleeping pattern is next to none. I don't think she even sleeps except for once in a blue moon thing. I noticed that she goes to sleeping frenzy for two days. The first day I worry because she hardly get up from the couch (me watching the 2 web cams (FI9821E & GV-FER521) she have from my pc). When she gets up, she falls all over looking like a baby learning to walk. And that goes on until the second day.

The fascination with lock doors also intrigue me. She will come out of her apartment and grab/twist/knock uncontrollably at my door. Instead of looking for who ever she is looking for in all sides and bedrooms of her apartment, she rather bother someone else.

She packs everything, did I say that already. Paper towel that hangs by the kitchen sink is always empty because she rips them and hide all the folded paper towel. The same thing with toilet paper. Then when she needs something, she doesn't know where to get them.

Another fascination are papers, I guess that goes with paper towel and toilet papers. Anything papers she will fold and carry every where. Oh yeah, some of those paper towel and toilet paper ends up in our front porch. Every morning it looks like cat and dog had a fight there with all the torn papers. Even the one she used to wipe her bottom with.

Medicine is another battle I have to argue with her everyday depending on what mood she was in. She takes two pills, one for being psychotic and one for being diabetic. I can say 99% of the time the first one get taken with no problem. The latter one she always have problem with. All the "why" questions and throwing it out.

DH told me, well if she doesn't want it, then don't give it to her. Let her diabetic attack.

Now that is getting colder outside I turned on her heat. However, her door cannot stay shut because she is very nosy, so all the heat goes up and out to our attic which by the way is very open. Every noise she hers, she needs to check the front door, and sometimes by doing so she forgets which door goes back to where she was. She hang out in our foyer until she gets tired and finally decide that the open door is where she should go.

We have a caregiver comes in twice a week to give her a shower. She gives them such a hard time but settle down as soon as the water hit her body. She naps while they are drying her hair or maybe she only pretends to nap. Who knows.

This week actually is the worst so far. While I was typing this she came out of the bathroom bottom naked again. I just put pants on her this morning before breakfast, now she wets her clean pants again. I'm not sure if her pull up is wet. I'll find out as soon as I get there. Ta-ta-for-now, time to put pull up and pants to my old baby MIL. Here goes the yelling again because she doesn't listen or somehow does not hear very well. I don't know which one, I'm not a doctor.

ETA: 10 minutes later....She was pleasant, she put the pull up with only question, no high pitch voice of disapproval.


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Life of Ours Author

Mrs. Cheers, Keystone USA

"I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations. I have a continuing program of research (What mother doesn't?) in the laboratory and in the field (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (the whole darned family) and already have five credits (four sons & one daughter, 1 joined the working community, 4 are being educated @ home ). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities (any mother care to disagree?), and I often work 14 hours a day (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers, and the rewards are more of a satisfaction than just money."

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