We Are Free

Yeah, we always wish that freedom is free. I meant to say is. "we are free from taking care of MIL who has dementia." Last week the social services was called by one of the nurses who looks after MIL claiming that we are neglecting her. Police got called in because you know me, I will not let her (the social worker) in.

Police did an investigation and found no neglect, that she was well taken for. EMT and her doctor checked her too, and came out empty, no sign of neglect. I feel like suing those people for putting my whole family on these kind of stress. So, now MIL is staying in the hospital, not eating, with IV, drugged up to Wazoo, wearing bedding pad (because they said its easier than a diaper) more like a puppy training. She is staying there until we move her to a home, which they will keep her alive until she ran out of money (bleed her dry our lawyer exact word), then stop all the services. ITS TRUE. Lawyer told us this.

Lawyer suggested that we should take her back & hire three shifts caregiver. However, DH and I agree that we don't want her back. We think that if we don't visit her at the other side of our house the same thing will happen. Those caregiver will call a social worker again telling them that we never visit her, or yet we never talk to her. That stress the social worker put us thru is enough for both of us for the rest of our life. And why should we bother seeing her if she have 24 hours caregiver taking care of her. So, no way. They can bleed her dry, that is what they are after, money. We like our privacy. Any government agency is not welcome in our house.

We are free from MIL. We can finally go anywhere and anytime we want.

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Much Worst

This is my MIL who has dementia since 2012 from what my late PIL told us. I bet she had it longer than that. Our house now is big and like I mention before they live or using 1/6 of the house. That is our in law apartment.

Most of the decoration my PIL left are gone. Broken or she packed it and hidden somewhere. The cushions of the couch smells because she doesn't use her bedroom anymore. Since around the end of February, I think.

I put pull-ups on her now because most of the time she can't remember where the bathroom is. Or if she remembers she doesn't sit correctly and her pee runs downs on her pant legs. Sometimes she sits on one of the plastic chairs around her dining table, pull her pants and pee sitting on the chair while her socks get wet.

Most of the time she wears her pee soak pants and refuses to change them, saying "I like them wet." Then when she finally decide to change she will complain that her bottom hurts. Number is a problem now too. When she can't find the bathroom or cant remember, she just pull her pants down anywhere and do her business. Yuck! so disgusting and the smell. However, I am thankful that her bowel is hard. It's much worst when it's soft, I think. I change her clothes once a day now.

I never let her in my side of the house anymore. It's less stress for me to keep telling her that my side is my side. It doesn't get recorded in her brain anymore. I bring her food in her side. That is another problem with the dishes. When I forget to take the dishes she used, I will be looking everywhere for them.

Sleeping pattern is next to none. I don't think she even sleeps except for once in a blue moon thing. I noticed that she goes to sleeping frenzy for two days. The first day I worry because she hardly get up from the couch (me watching the 2 web cams (FI9821E & GV-FER521) she have from my pc). When she gets up, she falls all over looking like a baby learning to walk. And that goes on until the second day.

The fascination with lock doors also intrigue me. She will come out of her apartment and grab/twist/knock uncontrollably at my door. Instead of looking for who ever she is looking for in all sides and bedrooms of her apartment, she rather bother someone else.

She packs everything, did I say that already. Paper towel that hangs by the kitchen sink is always empty because she rips them and hide all the folded paper towel. The same thing with toilet paper. Then when she needs something, she doesn't know where to get them.

Another fascination are papers, I guess that goes with paper towel and toilet papers. Anything papers she will fold and carry every where. Oh yeah, some of those paper towel and toilet paper ends up in our front porch. Every morning it looks like cat and dog had a fight there with all the torn papers. Even the one she used to wipe her bottom with.

Medicine is another battle I have to argue with her everyday depending on what mood she was in. She takes two pills, one for being psychotic and one for being diabetic. I can say 99% of the time the first one get taken with no problem. The latter one she always have problem with. All the "why" questions and throwing it out.

DH told me, well if she doesn't want it, then don't give it to her. Let her diabetic attack.

Now that is getting colder outside I turned on her heat. However, her door cannot stay shut because she is very nosy, so all the heat goes up and out to our attic which by the way is very open. Every noise she hers, she needs to check the front door, and sometimes by doing so she forgets which door goes back to where she was. She hang out in our foyer until she gets tired and finally decide that the open door is where she should go.

We have a caregiver comes in twice a week to give her a shower. She gives them such a hard time but settle down as soon as the water hit her body. She naps while they are drying her hair or maybe she only pretends to nap. Who knows.

This week actually is the worst so far. While I was typing this she came out of the bathroom bottom naked again. I just put pants on her this morning before breakfast, now she wets her clean pants again. I'm not sure if her pull up is wet. I'll find out as soon as I get there. Ta-ta-for-now, time to put pull up and pants to my old baby MIL. Here goes the yelling again because she doesn't listen or somehow does not hear very well. I don't know which one, I'm not a doctor.

ETA: 10 minutes later....She was pleasant, she put the pull up with only question, no high pitch voice of disapproval.

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April is Almost Over

Have you notice that the days, weeks, months, and years goes faster as soon as you hit the big 40? I know right? I tried updating my writings while my children are doing their lessons and I only had one post in March. What was I doing the rest of the March while my children are doing their lessons. Geez!

The last two weeks of March I feel ill. I'm not really sure what I got because even the doctors cannot determined. I had cough, sore dry throat, and fever. I woke up from my nap feeling achy and I even went to get some grocery thinking it will go away by itself. As soon as I get back from the grocery store, that was it. I was bound to bed for the whole 2 weeks. Our children enjoyed their unexpected early spring unschooling vacation. Lucky for me, DH was still home.

DH never liked the house works. Everyone feed themselves, except for his mother whom does not have any brain left. Every time I hear him yelling at his mother, I feel more ill. I usually cook everything for her, and DH does the socializing with her. However, he can't cook and socialize...hahaha. Anyway, I feel better now except for this cough that I get every now and then. A very dry cough that will not go away unless I cough my eyes out. It happens about twice a day.

FIL papers works are still not final. MIL is still staying with us, she's like a two years old with a body of an old lady who lies 99.9 percent of a time. I think she lives to lie her whole life. Anyway, I'm not a psychology, just my own observation. We put in a door to our side of the house, now she is separated from us. She still play with the doorknob trying to force open the door. Any door that are close she need to get into, and every place she is not allowed she need to be there.

She goes outside in the middle of the night, turning on all the light switch she can find and dragging all she can from her apartment and put them in our vehicles. We have three vehicles park outside the house. She can hardly walk and once in a while I will get awaken by her screaming because she step wrong and fallen, trying to move by crawling until she can hold on to something and pick herself up. I kept telling DH to lock her door at night, but he is very much against not letting her mother out of the house. "Ok then, my mouth is shut when something bad happen to her outside, when your sister with the POA ask," I told DH.

Our house got appraised, well actually let me re-phrase that. A realtor agent came to our house to find out the value of our house for the inheritance tax to get paid. It was done before I got sick in March. It's been over a month now and she never got back to us, yet. How long exactly to figure out how much a house worth? Just base it on what you see, not what you think is the possibility if everything is 100 percent. The cost of the house on the day we purchase it play a big rule on determining the worth of the house, don't you think?

These mambo-jumbo paper works when someone passed making my brain hurts. DH and I are already making lists for our children to make it easy for them when we pass. We actually wanted to put the house on their names when we bought it, but the lawyer said no, because they are still underage. I think that was a good idea, plus they don't have to pay inheritance tax on it. However, that might be the same reason why we were not allowed to put it on their names, "the tax." Who knows, I don't work for the bar association.

Enough of these headache, you readers have a great weekend. I will be if I can get a nice rest.

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Same Old MIL only Different Day

Every day same old story for her. Waked up not knowing where she is, yelling at her husband for sharing a bed because he is a stranger and she never saw him in her life. She calls him old, but when he answered, "just like you, old," she will say, "are you kidding me." Sounds to me that she thinks that she is not old, even looking on the mirror.

Telling us that we are teaching our children to lie to her, when we asked in front of her who are in the picture. You can see how backward her thinking is. I always give her the angry look every time. And when she is in the good mood and remembering things, I am more angry.

I can't wait to move in our new (old) house. She can have her own bedroom and DH & I don't have to explain to her much. She can think that she lives in home for the ages. She doesn't have to complain sharing a room with her own husband anymore. Two and a half more weeks before we can sign the title transfer.

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Excuses After Excuses

Selective dementia is what I always call what she have. I always think that she is playing a game every time she claims that she doesn't know anything or she doesn't remember anything. You would think that she will be a little nicer when she claim it, but no, she is in her nastiest when she is like that.

Sshhhh, don't say anything I said that, "she says in the low voice." Now, she is turning me into a liar like herself for not confronting  the person she is talking about. We all know she is crazy, but for not saying what we think making us look more crazier than she is. The way she talk, she makes a two year old less absurd than she is. However, I can't get myself to believe that she is sick the way she act.

She calls her husband old man, but she can't grasp that she her herself is not young. And you will think that she should be nicer to an old person because she thinks she is young. But no, she is still nasty to old people. I should probably install mirror every where, so that she can see that she is also old. Will she see it, and comprehend it in her mind?

Ugh! this is way too early for me. I should go back to bed and wake up refresh again.

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Oh Thanks for Making Me Feel...

During one of MIL episodes for having her regular brain back for five minutes, she will argue with anyone that they should drive her home because she wanted to see her boxes of junks in her house. Telling her that she now lives with us and calling our house "shammy," and all we can tell her in return was, "oh thank you for making me feel such a loser."

She is very nice without her regular brain. Getting her memory back for 5 minutes is such a problematic five minutes. She is such a spoiled old *** in my opinion. However, she always talk about that looks and money is not important, but when it comes to her own family, apparently those characteristic are very important. What a standard! I am happy, she doesn't talk to me much. Her logic is a sham...

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