Things You Never Hear in Church

I almost lost my paid post because they said I copy and paste this post. Of course it is copy and paste post it's a joke for crying out loud. What the H#$%^&* they care if this is copy and paste here. This paid post is more pain in my behind than anything. What they should care is how I write their ads. If is copy and paste then yes tell me about it. It's my post, they are not paying me to for this one post. Argh!!!!!!

- Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew.

- I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.

- Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.

- I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.

- I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.

- Forget the denominational minimum salary, let's pay our pastor so he can live like we do.

- I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!

- Since we're all here, let's start the service early.

- Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.

- Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!